“Asphalt Kids”
A Novel
An atmospheric and heart-wrenching debut about the obsessive pull of toxic relationships, the past we can’t escape and the hearts that sometimes smash to pieces.
English lit student Ema Lingytė has spent her entire life feeling like she’s not enough. Not the ideal daughter. Or student. Or athlete. She’s never been at home in her own body, always feeling too big or too small. Maybe that’s why she settles for men who only love her as little as she loves herself. She knows she hasn’t been the greatest friend to her besties, Gabija and Rytis, despite their unconditional love for her. And she’s certainly never been good enough for her childhood crush, Leo Ruzgys, the popular kid who’s forever felt out of reach. Until, suddenly, he isn’t.
Growing up together in the Soviet concrete tower blocks of Vilnius, Lithuania bonded the Asphalt Kids, as they’re known, in ways outsiders could never understand, and upon reconnecting as young adults, Leo realizes his shared history with Ema has evolved into an all-too-tempting fascination. For Ema, it feels like a dream, even if it’s an affair. Even if it’s a dirty little secret. Even if it’s toxic. It’s still everything she’s ever wanted. How could she resist? But when adult life challenges Ema to finally make some hard decisions, her passion for art emerges as an unexpected priority—just as she discovers Leo isn’t the only one harboring strong feelings for her. Now, as long-concealed truths come to light, Ema will have to make a choice between what she’s always wanted, and a future she never imagined.
Asphalt Kids explores how the ghost of a traumatic history shapes the people we become, the things we fight for, and the people we love.
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PART ONE
DESCENTDecember 20th, 2013
BarcelonaA female voice on loudspeakers is bouncing off the glass walls that overlook the purple sky, where the dawn is breaking open the long, dark night. Out through a blanket of darkness peek slithers of naked cerulean sky. The city is still drowsing, but the airport terminal is noisy, full of people. At the departures’ lounge, a woman with brown, bob-cut hair is sitting by the window wall, hectically hitting keys on her laptop. From time to time, she stops and lifts her eyes to the dramatic colours behind the window, oblivious of those who come and go from the island of fake leather seats. Her worn-out suitcase, packed for a different kind of adventure, stands by her feet. Inside cardboard boxes, her belongings are lined up against the walls of her empty apartment that she is contractually obliged to vacate by the first of January. She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand, rubs her eyes before returning them to the idle black screen. She taps her finger on the touchpad and the screen lights up again, exposing the text of the unfinished email. She resumes writing and, a few paragraphs later, types her name at the bottom and returns to the paragraph she cannot figure how to end.
Once you’ve been truly in love with somebody, you don’t just go back to being friends. You either go completely separate ways or resort to some half-ass relationship of half-truths and inconsequence.
It isn’t semantics that causes problems in the paragraph. Honesty, she knows, is tripping on obstacles of old, intrinsic lies. The colours of breaking dawn start shrinking into greys of winter Vilnius, the city she was born in, the uniform colour of social realism in the ‘80s. She closes her eyes. Multi-story Khrushchyovkas with a rusty playground and a crumbling basketball court at the back approach her in slow motion, mute. A gravel quarry behind it stretches as far as she can see, its vast hollowness expanding. A few Ladas lined up in a half-empty parking lot in front of a bleak high-rise. Kids dressed in shaggy, unvarying clothes, their movements lagging. Their ghostly presence speaks by looks and motion and absence of sounds. The buzzing silence surrounding the kids is disturbing.
Intensity of this memory crawls under her skin, holding up loneliness like a priest holds Holy Communion at the culmination of the Mass.
Book Club Questions
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Which character did you relate to or empathise with the most and why?
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Which character did you dislike or disagree with the most and why?
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How did the secondary characters impact or influence the main character(s) or story?
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What was the main conflict or problem in the story and how was it resolved?
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Does the title fit the story? If you were to change the title, what would it be?
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What was the most memorable or shocking scene in the story and why?
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What was the most satisfying or disappointing part of the story and why?
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How did you feel about the chemistry and compatibility between Ema and Rytis and Ema and Leo? Which male character did you root for?
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How, if at all, did this book relate to your own life? Did it evoke any memories or create any connections for you?
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What were some of your favourite scenes from the book? Why did they stand out to you?
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What were the main themes or messages of the book and how did they relate to the story?
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What do you think happens to Ema, Rytis and Leo after the novel ends?
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How did you feel about the ending? Was it satisfying or did you want more?
From September 11th, 2023
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“A hauntingly beautiful story. There is poetry to Eglė’s writing that’s simply transcendent; it’s so evocative, so raw. Her mastery of language when it comes to creating beautiful metaphors is extraordinarily powerful. The story is thought-provoking and bittersweet in the best possible way. The author takes her characters - the damaged children that must grow into the damaged adults - with such detail and care.”
“Eglė Nutautaitė has written an exquisitely painful and powerful coming-of-age story set in Lithuania in the years just following the end of the USSR. Her characters, damaged both by dysfunctional families and by the constricting Soviet culture that dominated their childhoods, flail throughout their young adulthoods as they seek to find a path forward that can fulfill both ambition and personal, relational satisfaction. A heart-wrenching and unflinching glimpse into the lives of the children who grew up under communism in the USSR, but whose young adult lives were shadowed by the chaos that followed the immediate aftermath of its downfall, and a reminder of the power of love and self-determination.”
“‘Asphalt Kids’ brought back so many memories from my own growing up at the same time, in the same city, as well as triggered me in so many ways. An amazing read, and I know I will read it again. Highly recommend!”
— Vilma Brown“Set against the backdrop of a society only just crawling out of the Soviet era. The narrative weaves together the stories of its young protagonists, each with their own personal struggles and aspiractions. They combat with complexities of identity, love and loss. Meanwhile the story unfolds with severe emotional rawness and breathtaking descriptions, painted with such vividness, making the journey come to life. A slalom from edge to edge until the final paragraph.”
“A wonderful book! I truly enjoyed it. Once I got into it, the story very much invited me to keep on reading and it was hard to put it away to go to work or to sleep. The author very well managed to capture the (psychological) effects that trauma induced pain, fear and lack of self-worth can have on our lives. The skilful character development shows how the depression, struggles and search for truth of one and the pursuit for dominance, success and outer appearance of the other can have very same or similar origins.
And it’s not only a story of the main characters finding their way; I think the author came very close to the traumatised psyche of the Lithuanian nation; a nation that was brought up in fear, blame, bullying and guilt, without giving them sufficient means to express themselves emotionally. The effects which are still so visible in daily life here.
The story is well written, the characters have depth where needed, the pace is good and the dialogues are engaging. The plot keeps you on the toes till the end until it reveals itself on the very last page.”
— Bernie Ter BraakThe novel ‘Asphalt Kids’ connects temporal and geographical spaces through the life trajectories of the main characters. Despite only being young adults, the characters' lives and their (in)ability to make choices are already shaped by several significant historical events that naturalised violence in the society. Through the story of Ema, the author demonstrates how the oppressive system of the Soviet Union, its collapse and the acceleration of capitalism in independent Lithuania, forced entire generations to live with the ghosts of the past, unable to find healthy ways of belonging. Moreover, Nutautaitė juxtaposes the directions that Ema, Leo, Rytis and Gabija take as young adults, making subtle commentary on class and how capitalist values produce the illusion of success. For Ema, the struggles she faces are embodied, demonstrating how trauma lives through and in one’s body. However, Ema’s challenges become her possibilities, when in a world of turmoil she turns to what she loves and believes, and embarks on a journey towards discovering her authentic self.
— Akvile Bugvilaite“I enjoyed every bit of the novel and was very touched by the “Asphalt Kids”. It is a deep, dark story told in a beautiful, smooth language, a story that makes you think and feel. I loved the flow and rhythm of the language and poetic setting descriptions. It is definitely not a book that one will forget quickly.”
— Renata Haraszti“How do you come into your own when you come from a place where until recently “coming into your own’’ wasn’t an option? The characters in Asphalt Kids face this very challenge as they go about their lives in the city of Vilnius, Lithuania, which feels as if it’s still under a dark cloud, even years after the collapse of Soviet oppression. In lively, often heartbreaking prose, we follow Ema, a young woman beset on all sides by the expectations of others, as she struggles to find a path that feels authentically hers. Ema and her compatriots have come of age through a whirlwind of change, and the effects are deep and the scars still raw. Building to a cathartic ending, Asphalt Kids leaves the reader in a place of uncertainty and hope for a better future - a place, Nutautaite seems to suggest, that we would all do well to hope for.”
— Shawn Farley